Is your child spontaneous, seeming to lack order? Does he mix work and play often making work a game? If so, your child may have a preference for perceiving. Perceiving, one of the preferences according to the Myers Briggs type indicator, is a preference towards taking in information, a way of dealing with the outer world. It does not mean ?perceptive? which is being able to quickly assess people and events.
Understanding Your Perceiving Child
According to the Myers Briggs’ personality profile, a child with a preference for perceiving tend to procrastinate, putting off decisions until the last minute especially since he prefers to have his choices open. Making a decision can even become stressful because that will mean eliminating his options. If a task is completely defined, he feels stressed because there is little to no options given. He may start a lot of projects all at the same time but have difficulty finishing them. When it comes to performing a task, he values the process of doing it rather than the completion of the task itself. A nearing deadline energizes him into action and productivity though he will spend a great deal of time begging for ?just one more minute.? He tends to mix work and play often trying to make work more fun. A perceiving child, based on the Myers Briggs type indicator, is spontaneous, flexible, and enjoys the unexpected. He adapts well to change. He is naturally curious often jumping at the chance to explore anything new. He feels confined and restricted by rules and structure. He is also indifferent to rules and may tend to violate them especially since he is very spontaneous and may act before he even thinks of the rules set in place. His room may look like a mess but he is able to quickly locate any item you ask of him.
Parenting Your Perceiving Child
Because of his need to explore new and different things, your child may often be a challenge to take shopping. He will tend to investigate any new thing he can touch which can be stressful especially if you are in a hurry. It is best if you give him some extra time to explore before going about your shopping.
Your child prefers to live in the moment and views time as elastic. Deadlines and commitments don?t really concern him. If you need to get him started on schedule, it would be best to make the tasks fun. If you need him to get dressed at a certain time, engage his playfulness so he will get it accomplished on time.
School can be exhausting for your perceiving child because of the structure and schedules he will need to follow. Make sure that you give him some down time afterwards to just chill.
While a child with a perceiving preference works best when rushed, he may misjudge how much time he actually needs to complete a task. He will need your guidance in estimating what is the last possible minute that he can start a task and still finish it on time.
Decision-making is often a stressful action for a perceiving child. Often, he will let the decision be made for him. To help lessen the tension of having to choose, give him a deadline with ample time for him to make his choice. The more important the issue, the more time you should give him.
The manner in which your child will perform a certain task may not be the same way you would yourself do it. He will tend to mix work with play and this may also make completing the task take longer than you expect. Instead of communicating criticism and disapproval, simply accept that your child believes that work can still be fun. He will complete the task in his own way. Patience is important.
Rules are often considered as a barrier to spontaneity and exploration in the eyes of the perceiving child. He may question the reasons behind your rules and may even forget that they are there altogether. Instead of constantly correcting and punishing your child for his infractions, it may be best to selective on what rules are important and what are not. Having a selected number of rules that are consistently enforced will help both you and your child have a more harmonious and less stressful relationship.
Communicating with Your Perceiving Child
As a perceiver, your child may jump from one topic to another in one conversation. He loves fast-paced conversations as well as open-ended ones. Your child will also be open to opportunities to just talk. ?He may forget the details of a discussion afterwards though. He will also be more focused on what you are saying in a conversation rather than on what he would like to say next. He may tend to ask lots of questions as his mind comes up with one option after another. He will not hesitate to verbally ask for help should he need it. In talking to your child, you should always be open to new ideas and work on being flexible. Don?t try to take control of the conversation. Instead, try to enjoy the flow of the conversation as it goes rather than rushing towards its conclusion. By knowing how your child prefers to communicate, you can adapt your own style to his for a more productive and open communication.