According to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, Judging is a personality preference for how a person runs his outer life. While the term itself may seem negative, it isn?t equated with being judgmental. A judging personality prefers a more structured lifestyle and has an ?external order.?
Understanding Your Judging Child
According to his personality profile, a child with a preference for judging is very organized. He lives and breathes the motto ?A place for everything and everything in its place.? He likes to make decisions and he does it quickly. He is efficient and will perform tasks quickly, completing one before going to the next one on the list. He gets stressed when there are too many unfinished tasks on his plate. Your child will prefer to work first and finish it all before playing. And he will also want to do things the way they are ?supposed? to be done. He places a high value on the finished task rather than on the process of doing it. He also places a great deal of importance on punctuality and will become upset or anxious if he thinks he will be late. He needs predictability in his life and would prefer to know things ahead of time. He will become upset when frequent changes occur. A preference for judging, based on the Myers-Briggs personality profile, will also mean that they always know the rules and will follow them to the letter. Guidelines and expectations are highly appreciated by your child. Deadlines are not as they will cause him to feel stressed. He likes to take the time to prepare and plan his work so he doesn?t feel rushed.
Parenting Your Judging Child
Based on his personality profile, a child with a preference for judging needs to have a daily routine or schedule. If it?s not something that is natural to you, it will have to be something that you will need to incorporate into your life. A judging child may feel insecure and unloved if there seems to be no one in charge. He may even try to start making you more organized by giving you a to-do list for the day.
One good thing about a judging child is that he will follow the rules of the house because he wants to be ?good.? Unfortunately, he will also tell on any other child who does not follow the same rules. You need to understand, though, that he is not being a tattletale. Instead, he does so simply to find out if the rule still stands. You will need to explain to him that certain rules have exceptions.
While being decisive can be a good thing, your judging child can sometimes make decisions too quickly without knowing all the facts. You will need to guide him to try to wait on making a decision until most, if not all, the facts are in. Making a bad decision is not always better than no decision.
A judging child may sometimes become too focused on finishing a task that new information is missed. Getting the work done is greatly important but your child will need to learn that pausing at times during a project can help them see new information or any new methods for completing the task has presented itself because of the progress achieved.
Teach your child how to properly balance work and play. There will be times that work can wait and fun can be had. He will need to learn to be more acceptable of others especially those who are not as devoted to their routine as he is.
Because your child needs predictability, you will need to always inform him ahead of time if something in your schedule will change. Explain in a logical manner why the change needs to occur so that he understands and will not be stressed. In the same manner, you will also need to always give him enough warning before you leave so he can prepare himself.
Communicating with Your Judging Child
A judging child may be ready to make decisions right away but it doesn?t mean he isn?t open to new information. He may just be too focused on the goal to see it. Thus, you only need to point it out gently for him to realize it. And because he lives and breathes routine, try to schedule your reconnect time with him rather than doing it randomly. Should you need to reschedule any of his activities, calmly explaining the reasons behind the change is enough for him to understand why. You should also then give him space to process the change and adapt himself to the new situation. In addition, be patient with him whenever he asks what the schedule is or what activity they are going to do the next day. While you may feel like he is nagging, he is simply trying to know what to expect so he can prepare himself to enjoy it. When talking to your child, especially when relaying guidelines, expectations, and rules, be as specific as possible as they like to know everything beforehand. Take the time to also share some of your plans that concern him even if it?s just the meals that will be served the next day. While it may seem trivial to you, knowing this information will ease his mind and make him feel more secure. When communicating, your child will always be direct and to the point thus you should also be the same when conversing with him. Overlooking a detail may cause him to lose interest in the conversation.